i’ve been single for almost 3 years now.. it has been great.. coz i rediscovered the person that i stopped being when i was so lost into the relationships i had w/ my exes. not that it was their fault… i know now that the changes that we allow to happen in our life happened because we didn’t challenge it and instead allowed it to control us.. but always.. u have to know when to pull urself back to the reality that u want. we all have different realities in our life and its up to us to choose which will truly make us happy, give us the freedom to be what and who we want to be without feeling guilty and compromising our values and beliefs and what will make us a better person.
on my part i have to say in more ways than one I learned the hard way.. stumbled.. fell completely on my butt, at one point i felt disregarded, disrespected, and yes.. alone..
do i regret the things that happened in my life that led me to all these?? no.. and that is with all honesty.. coz if these things and situations and also people did not come my way and made me go through it all… i wouldn’t be the person I am now.. and i have to say… I like myself better now.. I’ve matured.. no longer selfish… more sensitive to other people’s feelings.. (especially my parents), im more patient now… and I’m no longer after things just because i think it would make me happy or get ahead of everyone.
ive made a lot of bad and questionable choices in my life (and this i regret) and im not proud of it. hurt a lot of people.. gave some people a taste of hell because i thought that’s what they deserved for doing me wrong… i did all these… for one reason… because I know I can.
but during these trying times.. was when i learned who my true friends were.. and how much i’m being loved by my family.. and that… i was never alone and more blessed than i ever thought i was.
they taught me a valuable lesson.. and that is to never be too proud to say that you’re hurt, and that crying doesn’t mean that you’re defeated nor surrendering to the battle.. nor does it mean that you’re weak.. in fact it even makes u stronger.. coz by crying u are admitting that there’s something wrong… and that is has to be dealt with.. and that sometimes… no matter how strong or tough you think you are.. you would still need the help and the reassuring arms of the people who cares for u.. just to get through something or just to merely get through the day.
I’m done acting and pretending that everything’s ok.. I no longer want to show people that I can easily laugh off and shrug whatever it is that’s been hurting me.. I’m done fighting back tears just so I wouldn’t be mistaken as a “Damsel in Distress”. I’m done planning and executing vengeance.. I’m done with wanting to get even.
I’m done with that..
What I am into now.. is forgiving the people who hurt me.. whether intentionally or not.. and to no longer allow anger & resentment control my life and my heart.
and learning to accept that in this life… there are people who would come along and hurt u without meaning to, that sometimes life would throw us heartaches, confusions, sorrow,….and loss… and all we have to do when these things come along is to just go down on our knees and bow down in prayer… and to just surrender everything to him… and let him take it from there..
and after all these breath a sigh of relief and let your faith take over.
